Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Next stop Aldgate, no Hellgate

"Like a beast released from Aldgate East", Anthony The Dustmasker's Tubechallenge lyrics have never sounded so appropriate, as gamers can now salivate or moan about Hellgate London.

Hellgate screengrab

As if the London Underground wasn't already hell on earth, you can now spend your spare time making it even worse. After I first heard of the MMORPG game, I was reminded by Jon, that it launched late last year. So if you're into massively multiplayer online role-playing games, see how the following synopsis grabs you:

"A post-apocalyptic London has been overrun by hordes of terrifying demons, leaving the city desolate and scorched by hellfire. Those who were unlucky enough to survive now gather in the only sanctuary left, the Underground, banding together in order to gain a foothold against the minions of darkness and ultimately save the bloodline of humanity."

I know these are "fantasy" games, but I would love to see something where people were kitted out to destroy demons with "weopans" and helped by "factions" that you'd be more likely to find on the Tube.

The Buskars would be mysterious, highly trained ex-buskers who lay waste to their foes with hyper-advanced instruments, amplifiers and boom-boxes that blend theoretical science with the latest in technology – and ear piercing notes can sink demons from almost any distance.

They'd be joined by London-Lite'ists - students of the dark arts of free-sheet thrusting. Their skills often leave them standing right on the line between good and evil. Their combination of fast-moving arm action with a solidly immovable stance make them highly suited for mid-range combat.

Finally, the Rattus Pigeonars, a secret society of in-bred creatures that finally stepped out from the tracks of the underground and bonded with humans in a bid to conquer the demons. The Rattus Pigeonars mix futuristic technology with ancient techniques of scavenging to create powerful weapons and armour out of soft drinks cans and discarded chocolate bars, perfect for short-ranged attacks.

Put them into a game and I'd be all over it. If you can think of any other factions, armour and weoponary that would help in a more realistic Hellgate London, feel free to do so below.

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